It’s not what you fight about, but how you fight…that matters

November 27, 2019

What if by watching this short video, you could learn how to interrupt and avoid those ugly, damaging, fights. You know…the ones that leave you confused as to why they “don’t get it” or hoarse from the yelling or crying, cold and alone because you or “they” have walked off, driven off or just shut down or feeling more discouraged or embarrassed by what you said.

That can change NOW…by discovering if these 4 “fighting” styles lurk in your marriage or relationship AND learning how to quickly identify and defuse the landmines of past conflict. Want a simple way to have disagreements and productive conversations that bring you both together and on the same page? It’s right here…so click and enjoy.

Like this and want even more that the two of you can do at your own pace, on your own timeframe? Checkout: FocusWithDrLiz.com

Hugs, Dr. Liz

Transcription: Hi guys, it’s Dr Liz here and I hope you’re having a great day so far. Hey, I wanted to spend a little bit of time, talking to you about a very important aspect of couples and that’s conflict and conflict styles. And I’m getting ready to launch my happy marriage masterclass or maybe by the time you’ve read this or are watching this, I have already launched my happy marriage masterclass and I think it’s really important to touch on conflict and conflict styles. You know, I have some couples that come in and they say, you know, we don’t fight at all and they’re sitting there on the couch, which you’re in my office or you’re right there. They are sitting miles apart and we start talking about what they like or they don’t like and they really don’t have a clear idea because you know what, they haven’t been having any discussion even in the form of a conflict about what they like or don’t like within the relationship within each other’s. So, let me share four, common conflict styles and then maybe you can relate back to your relationship as well as take this information home to your sweetheart and start talking about how you guys can communicate better because it’s really not, what you fight about or what you have a conflict about or disagreement or argument or you can call it whatever you want, but it’s really how you have that conflict, how you have that fight, that argument. Okay. So the first one is a criticism . It’s where you pick people apart and you call them names or you say, Oh, I can’t believe you really did that, or I hate it when you do this or you did it wrong. It’s where we’re placing judgment and we’re putting them down and now their conflict style is, um, contempt. And that’s when we get really snarky. It’s the eye rolling as a really, you know, as the heavy sigh you know, it’s, you might’ve seen that or experience experiencing. It’s the tone. It’s implied that you’ve done something wrong. It’s your, it’s disdain for you. Another style is, or conflict style is defensiveness. Now I’ve done this, I had done this for years. I’m trying not to do this, but it’s where instead of acknowledging what’s going on, we get defensive, we try to explain ourselves, we rationalize, we offer reasons why. And this is a big accelerant to a fight because the more we try to explain or justify or rationalize or reason with our spouse, the more we toss shiny things out there that then they can chase. Want the full story? Click here to watch on my blog: https://drlizjenkins.com/blog/

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