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Your Relationship needs more Excitement….and it starts outside the Bedroom!

February 2, 2020

Join Dr. Liz as she shares her quick advice on spicing up your relationship or marriage…and it starts outside the bedroom.

Click here to watch her video: Your Relationship needs more Excitement….and it starts outside the Bedroom!

Hugs, Dr. Liz

Rough Transcription for your use:

Hi guys is Dr. Liz here and I hope you’re having a wonderful day. I know I am and I’m here to talk to you a little bit about relationships and helping you get more sizzle back into yours or keep it there if you already have that sizzle going on. I hear a lot of folks talk to me about they need more pleasure. They need more physical intimacy. And but in the same time they say I don’t feel it I’m not really attracted to my mate anymore. I don’t want to kiss him and don’t hug. I certainly have no desire to have sex with him. And guess what. It’s not that we need more pleasure it is that we need more excitement. We need to start outside the bedroom to bring that excitement back into the bedroom. So guys it’s not that you need more pleasure is that you need more excitement. Just think about it in the early parts of your relationship. There was this anticipation there was excitement there was this sense of anticipation and you were interested in what they had to say they were interested in you they were captivated by what you said or did. Everything seemed it was funny or humorous. And then life happened. Maybe it was work. Career spills kids critters I don’t know but set out over time. Even the most successful of couples start to develop routines start to get kind of stuck in ruts. We are sort of shortcut and know what the other person wants or likes and so we stop getting curious. We stop doing getting outside the box and. You know I’ve been doing therapy with clients with couples for over 35 years I’ve been married for over 32 years. So I kind of know in the trenches in the trenches both personally and professionally. But researchers also wanted to study what drove successful couples and what impacted marital satisfaction. And so they took folks just like you or me and put us into a room had us do a marital satisfaction questionnaire. Then we sent us out to do a very lame but fun obstacle course and our legs might have been tied together and we crawled through hoops and over stuff. And then when we were done with the obstacle course they put us back in that same room gave us the very same marital satisfaction quiz. And guess what. Our scores went up. We felt more connected raided our marriages or our relationships much higher. And it was just like a quick pop and satisfaction of of positiveness. And they said what’s going on. What was the difference. And when they found out is when they threw something new something adrenaline producing or exciting or out of the norm when they did that the satisfaction the relationship quota went through the roof. All right. So. Guys you don’t need more pleasure. You need more excitement. And let’s talk about how you can do that really simply and get your relationship back on track or continue. Maybe it’s just rockin and you want to keep that and preserve that and couples really do need to do that you deserve to feel like your friends you deserve to feel like. Feel fond about them that they’re fond about you and they enjoy being with you and you most certainly enjoy being with them. So what do we do. We go back to the beginning. Take a look at what did you guys do for fun when you were first dating. Write those things down. What was it that you said or did or where did you go. We want to get back to some of the roots of how your relationship really clicked and had you continuing on with each other then you might take them now. And I want you to think about what would be fun now. And just as a caution don’t put any extra obstacles in there don’t say well we don’t have the mind do this. We don’t have the mind do that. Just put it out there. Whatever it is. Just put it out there what you’d like to do fun locally at home in your hometown and maybe globally just. Go big go big. Then the two of you sit down and go over the list and start talking about what you would like to do. What sounds good. What doesn’t sound good. What sounds too scary or completely off the list. And we want to get curious and we want to find out what is it about certain things that they don’t want to do. And is it reasonable for you if there’s something like Oh I don’t want the scary movies. Is it reasonable for you to give it a try and say hey I’m going to go to the scary movie I’m going to try and we really really scared. And if it gets too scary I may need to take a break. But I mean. A cat. Or zip lining or a neighbor it might be too. The thing is as you start to become open to each other and open to each other’s ideas and suggestions and that will jump start the excitement factor in your relationship which starts adding in the pleasure. We start enjoying our time together reconnecting. Feeling more affection and feeling like you look forward to one another…. Watch the video for full info.

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