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How do you get your sweethearts attention?

November 30, 2019

Learn quick ways to get your spouse or partner’s attention…discover how you might be missing their attempts to engage or interact with you.

Hint: it might be hidden in those little “everyday” things. I’d love to have you “like” this page and let me know how you get your sweetie’s attention! Hugs, Dr Liz

Rough Transcription: Hey there. It’s Dr Liz Jenkins and welcome, welcome. I appreciate you taking the time out today. Dr. Penny is busy sleeping under the desk over there. So, she’s here in spirit but she’s asleep. So here’s one of the things, I’m launching my Happy Marriage Masterclass and it’s filled with all sorts of very cool activities and tips and insights to take a really good relationship and make it even better. Or if your marriage or relationship has sorta hit the ruts and kind of in a slump or really on the rocks and turning it all around and supercharging it. Okay. So here’s one of the things I want to have you start thinking about so that you can whatever stage your relationship is in, you can, um, bring that energy up, bring that level of satisfaction, supercharge it, and increase the quality, um, and the longevity of your marriage. So what I want you to be able to do is recognize when your spouse is turning towards you, is what some people call making the bid for your attention. These are ways that they’re trying to engage you. And trying to enhance the marriage. Oftentimes I would say in long term marriages and even the shorter term marriages, we sorta get tired or we get irritated or we overlook and tune these things out. So here’s an example that maybe happens in your house. Um, on a day to day basis, you’re in the kitchen, all right? And your sweetheart ‘s head’s in the refrigerator and they’re looking through stuff and they say, Oh my gosh, did you know that the milk is frozen in the back of the refrigerator. Now you have some options here. You can ignore them. Okay, you can like blow up, you know, we’ve been having problems with the refrigerator or like, that’s dumb. Why do I care with the milk is frozen in the refrigerator? Okay. Those three responses right there would be ignoring their attempt to engage you and enhance the relationship. So, a better option would be even something as simple as like, really, okay, or I didn’t know, or, wow, let me look at that. Or even making a joke because it, okay, well I guess we’re going to have ice cream and set of milk on our cereal this morning. Okay. Your response to their bid, they’re reaching out to you is so, so important. It’s so key to longterm relationships, right? So I want to hue to one, pay attention to how many times your spouse or sweetheart sort of reaches out to you. It may come in a casual remark. It may be like, Hey, did you hear about, uh, you know, the hurricane that’s coming up on shore, or Oh my gosh, the neighbors down the street, it looks like they’re getting ready to sell their house. So yeah, it can be something as simple and every day mundane as that. And I want you to also look at ways that you’re reaching out to your spouse, that you’re making a bid for their attention. All right? I want you to kind of increase the opportunities within that relationship. You make a bid for them and maybe maybe you’re the one that asks them about the milk being frozen or are made the comment about the milk being present. All right, and they didn’t really respond in a way, no harm, no foul. What you do is you shut the door, the refrigerator maybe, and you go tell him, Hey, I don’t really know if you realize that, but I was chatting with you. I was talking to you, did you? Did you happen to hear me? And they may like, Oh no, I didn’t realize you were talking to me. Or yes, what did you want? What’d you want me to do about it? And you might say, you know, just really, I didn’t need you to do anything about it, but I did want to know that you were interested in me and you were listening to me. So it might’ve been something that you could’ve just said, Hey, do you need any help or, well, it looks like we better get the route. You want me to get there? A refrigerator repair person out. What I want you to do is start helping them respond to you in a way that makes you feel good. And I want you to be alert, you know, get your antenna up there and look for the ways that they’re attempting to engage you, even if it’s something you know dumb about, maybe as a sports thing or to housekeeping thing or something the animals did or the kids did that you think is really, Oh, you know, not, not worthy of a response. I do want you to learn how to acknowledge that and pay attention to them. Okay. Because that is one of the hidden secrets, hidden secrets of successful couples. And my job, my goal, my passion, my mission is to help you understand all these really cool gold nuggets and bring those into your relationships so you can supercharge it. Join me @ https://drlizjenkins.com/blog/ for the full story

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