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Relationship Rescue: 5 Questions to Save Your Stalled Relationship

January 11, 2023

 

If you’re looking for ways to improve communication in your relationship, look no further, start today and rekindle the flame in your relationship.

Are you feeling that your relationship has hit a stale patch? Or catching yourself daydreaming about past, more romantic times with your partner?

Don’t worry — it’s not too late to bring the spark back into the relationship. Rekindle that flame of love and refresh your connection by asking each other some clever questions!

Using my five reconnection conversation-starting gems are a great way to quickly revolutionize your conversations, as well as, inject new life into your precious partnership.

Communication is the key to rekindling the flame in your relationship. In fact, it’s probably the most important component of any relationship. Intimacy + connection flourish in a relationship where both people are able to express their feelings openly and honestly.

Life’s ups and downs, our daily commitments take a toll on our ability to show up strong and stay in touch with each other. The unsuspecting couple often gets caught up in the daily demands routines of life and staying in touch or the luxury of a deep conversation gets sandwiched in between kids, careers, dinner and just life.

Deeper conversations are traded for tasks or ‘To-Do’ discussions, check-ins with each other reduced to one or two letters sent in a text. Quickly creating a subtle distance and disconnect from each other. My couples often share they don’t feel heard, no longer a priority or ‘on the same page’ with many wondering if they made a mistake and if this relationship will last.

Rekindling the flame requires noticing that something is lacking and making the effort now, not later. It starts with just one of you showing up differently…and typically the other will follow.

Start NEW with the OLD….

Go back to the basics that brought you both together which was making the relationship and them a priority. Carve out a few dedicated moments to spend with each other. Park the cell phones and chat. Actively look at them, no multitasking, ask great questions (I’ve got these covered for you) and listen. Just listen without interrupting or judging. Stay curious and once they are done, ask a bit deeper. We want to understand their needs, hopes and desires, as we ask about theirs, your chance to share will also happen.

Whether you’ve been together for decades or are just starting out on your journey together, sprinkle in some affection. Make a point of sitting next to each other, holding hands as you walk or using terms of endearment or pet names. These simple gestures really add to recreating the loving and fun connection you both once had.

So often I hear my couples share that they’d love to ask a great question…it’s just that they don’t know where to start or can’t think of anything new to share. I totally get that! After all, you see each other day after day, many of life’s events or activities are just part of the daily routine and often we feel like we already know what they are going to say before they open their mouth. Afterall, that’s one of the wins of being a couple, you’ve spent time learning about each other and their preferences. (Window seats on the plane, extra ice in their tea, mayo but no mustard kind of thing.)

I’ve got you covered!

Here’s 5 reconnection questions designed just for you and your relationship. Start with your favorite, pick sometime to ask, listen and talk openly…you never know what delightful discoveries await!

What is something that you wish we could do more often together?

What makes you feel the closest to me?

How can I support you better?

What have been some of our most memorable moments together?

What would make this relationship even stronger for both of us?

In addition to deepening connections, these types of questions can also breathe new life into existing relationships; if conversations have become mundane or stagnant, asking a thoughtful question out of the blue can quickly revitalize them! Plus, asking questions shows genuine interest in another person which is always appreciated!

Looking to brighten up your relationship, start by asking some good conversation-starting questions! Hint…keep this an open, curious exploration of their thoughts or feelings. Stay open, not critical. Invite them to share more and listen. You might just find yourself discovering exciting new things.

Finally, don’t forget to have fun! There’s no right or wrong answer. Once they’ve shared…odds are they will be asking you about your thoughts, so be patient and wait for your ‘turn’. Feel free to create your own reconnection questions, write them down and ask away!

A relationship or marriage is a living, breathing creature, created by the two of you. It needs to be nurtured and cared for in order to thrive. Developing great and consistent ‘habits’ of staying in touch by showing care, attention and interest is key to having that long lasting connected relationship or marriage you both desired. It’s worth the time and practice to create a space where you can both understand each other better, express yourselves openly, and work together on resolving conflicts.

We all change and evolve in life and by creating a ‘habit’ to spark conversations we stay in touch with ourselves and each other as we discover, rediscover, what is important to one another, their new interests, and ultimately foster greater closeness.

Turning conversations into opportunities for growth will eventually help your relationship stand the test of time!

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